Growing and developing

Having an obsession can be a dangerous thing. This past summer has been filled with many lessons. Second summer that I haven't dated, and maybe that's a good thing. I don't understand why it hurts so much to be alone and not being in a relationship with someone. I have to learn how to love myself fully I keep running into this toxic trap of getting attached too quickly. I have to grow out of this way of thinking and learning how to be single is the only way to gain self-confidence. There's one ex I can't seem to get rid of out of my mind. He's living his life and I have to live mine. I met him at a friend's birthday party two years ago, and we clicked. I fell in love with him but he never knew because I was afraid of getting hurt. But I ended up getting hurt anyway but there's other pain that other people have dealt with that is greater than that. Like me who experienced loss last year, and some people are ill and not sure how much longer they have left. I have to try to look for the Silver lining and at the same time go through the pain. I have a tendency to go from one extreme to the next when it comes to emotions. I'm an emotional woman and it can get exhausting, I had a girl's day out which was much needed. Heather really cheered me up we went to lunch, the movies, and shopping. It's nice to finally have that balance. I have to drop this desperate way of thinking because I realize the more I think and feel this way in terms of wanting a man, I'm going to attract someone who's controlling. I don't want that AT ALL!! I want someone who's going to respect me, my time, and the people around me. My standards go a little longer than that but that's in a nutshell. I'm signing off with happy thoughts. I'm taking Deepak Chopra's 21 day meditation challenge on miraculous relationships. I need to release all of this old pain and make room for joy.